NO PROBLEM AT ALL

I was worried about everything over nothing

I overthink again

I have to chill

So many have suffered

So many have died

Life is definitely too short

I have to keep telling myself not to occupy time with waste

Of course there were bad days and good days

My mind is a weird place

Wandering all over

No end

No problem at all

Yesterday, I was thinking about someone (FY), cosmically coincidental enough , she messaged me asking about someone. Earlier, I wanted to talk to her about something. She asked me whether I know someone (ZS). I couldn't recall who that individual was. Probably I did know Z, but I couldn't recall. Probably old(er) age is catching up on me. We checked on ZS FB page, we have many common friends. I still couldn't recall. Asked another friend who was on ZS friend list (RM), she recalled wrongly at first. Then, just like me, RM mind went blank. No recollection whatsoever. Who is this ZS? 

ZS is not the real issue here, the fact that FY out of the blue messaged me; the fact that she messaged me after I intensely thought about her, that was insane. 

I wanted to talk to FY about some things which more on my own self pity, I wanted to lament to her about how difficult life was for me during this pandemic. I forgot that I am more fortunate than a lot of people during this trying time.

I didn't lament. She then told me the reason she asked about who ZS was is because her husband knows ZS. She was thinking maybe she should contact ZS. You see, (Ughhh now I sound like Dhar Mann) her husband just had surgery. He has Cancer stage 4. When she told me that, my heart sank. I did feel like schmuck. No, looking at my "problems" I have nothing. 

I didn't know what to say other than offering my prayers and if there anything I could do to help.

During this pandemic, a lot of people who were quite close to me had passed. Some due to Covid19 some of other illnesses. 

Last night, mak and Abah called. 

There....right there.....I am grateful, I have them alive and well.

I am grateful for the food I have to eat every day.

I am grateful for the roof above my head.

I am grateful for the 7 rescued ones.

I am grateful for everything good in my life.

I am now learning how to appreciate the bad things that happened which had made me stronger to face all sorts of obstacles.

I am still finding that balance Spiritual & Actual but I could feel the breeze....

I really hope this pandemic will be over soon no matter how skeptical the entire world may feel

I may feel differently tomorrow.....but I take the graciousness feeling I have today and hopeful it will continue on till tomorrow and after.....

Wallahualam.